Maybe...?

There comes a point in life when you just can't handle things anymore; you can't keep spinning all the plates. The schedules, expectations, responsibilities stretch you so very thin that it feels as if everything will snap. All the coping mechanisms used in the past no longer work, and the duct tape that has been holding things together for far to long begins peeling off slowly, tearing hair and skin as it falls to the ground. When one reaches such a time, there are a few option: pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep trying to muscle your way through until you can't do it anymore, then repeat the previous steps again, again...and again; fall completely apart, then run away to a deserted island somewhere in the Caribbean, hoping that even though no one else is there, someone will still bring you a drink in a pineapple with a little paper umbrella, again...and again; or reach out and get yourself some help from one, but likely more, of the following: solid soul friends, a professional counselor, a spiritual director, medical/naturopathic doctor, etc. 

This breakdown comes in many forms: physically, because duh, when you turn 40 the body begins to wither, hormones start to shift, and years of striving to be a “good Christian” brings a weariness that settles in deep; spiritually, because sometimes God likes to be very quiet while He grows your faith in Him, and sometimes the tools given to you in the Protestant/Evangelical church don’t seem to be working anymore; emotionally, especially if there are teens involved or a strained marriage exists; mentally, because you're just plain out of ideas in that old brain of yours, nor do you care to muster up any new thoughts. Gathering the pieces back together seems impossible. 

But with God, anything is possible. Ask Him to surround you with a trustworthy community, people who will breathe Spirit-truth and guidance into your being, for this will bring encouragement and nourishment to your weary soul. Give yourself space to really be still. As much as possible, say no to the pressures of life, then press into the Lord, seeking Him for who He is, not for the “comforts or blessings” He provides. Allow Him to give you a new perspective of who He by simply being present with Him. Allow Him to gently whisper grace into your heart. He is faithful. He is good. Cling to that, and always remember you are not alone; There are many in the same boat, many traveling the same stormy seas. To rest in the calm, you have to know how to rest in the storm. 

God’s grace is found in the suffering, the darkness, and the struggles of life. Maybe the suffering is His grace? Maybe it is only in that grace-filled suffering that we are able to truly know who He is? Maybe? The more I read about and personally witness those whose lives have been filled with suffering, the more assured I am that the Gospel is true, because in them I see Jesus, and He is beautiful. I see Him in their tears, dashed hopes, and shattered dreams. In them, I see the reality of God’s grace, grace that carries them over hard roads, difficult passes, and deep valley wanderings. In their darkness, Jesus shines brightly. His Light illuminates just enough to see glimpses of God’s glory, thus filling me with hope and great anticipation that maybe soon the day will come when the suffering ceases? But maybe for now, we are to embrace the suffering? Maybe we are to be like the Christian Mystics of old who boldly asked to experience the suffering of Christ, rather than run, or pray our way free from it? For in the suffering one not only sees Christ clearly, but also is transformed into His resurrected likeness, a likeness that divinely exudes grace, love, humility, compassion, and hope. Maybe…?