Confessions of a Crazy Soccer Mom

Photo Credit: Tawny Friedman

Two Sundays ago (actually, this whole soccer season) was tough on this momma. Ian plays on a team with some exceptional players and happens to fall around number 12 or 13 on a roster of 13. Because of that, he rarely starts in a game, and when they are playing a tournament where they must win to advance, my precious, soccer-loving boy sits most of the game. This has taken a toll on his poor momma’s heart and his poor daddy’s ear, because he has to listen to my rants of frustration, because all I want to do is watch Ian play.

Before Ian's State Cup tournament quarterfinal soccer match, we attended church. We sat and listened to our pastor teach on God’s unbelievable love. Using the passage from John 13:1-17 (one Ian and I had discussed a month or so prior), where Jesus washes his disciples feet, he pulled out truths about love.

Love:

Stays-It lasts, endures, and survives.

Starts-It initiates, chooses.

Submits-It’s devoted; humility with no limitations.

Sacrifices-It is always costly and usually painful or difficult.

Surprises- It shocks, often doing the unexpected.

Does-It is active, always in motion.

You would think that after hearing a message on love, I would have been fully prepared to demonstrate love on the sidelines of the field. Sadly, it wasn’t the case. Instead, as the minutes of the first half ticked by and neared the end without seeing my boy on the pitch, I moved from frustrated, to hurt (with tears), to downright mad. My jaw was set, and my brow furrowed. Even when Ian came in the last 3 minutes of the first half, I could barely focus on his play because I was beyond ticked. This only continued through the second half, as he sat all but the last 8 minutes of that half. Even when the team pulled a huge win, I was still so bent out of shape that it was hard to be happy for them. Jacked-up crazy, right? But even worse, I utilized a dozen different reasons to justify my behavior. That isn't just jacked-up crazy and extremely sad, its sin. 

As I reflected upon the day, I went into Ian’s room and told him how proud I was of his play. I told him I was especially proud of his amazing sportsmanship throughout the game. There wasn’t a moment that passed during the game where he wasn’t engaged on the sideline. He stood most of the time and stayed focused on the field and his teammates, cheering and giving high-fives to his teammates as substitutions were made, and he was mentally and physically ready to roll when the coach asked him to go in.

I confessed to him what my response was throughout the game, and how completely opposite it was from his. He remarked how the player who he usually subs in for was having a remarkable game, so he understood why he had not been subbed in sooner. He also mentioned how all the other players played exceptionally well also. He was beaming with pride at their accomplishments. He knew the overall goal was to win, and he trusted his coach would do his best to position the team to achieve success. He then added a long-range perspective of how when he gets to the pros, there are usually 6 guys on the bench and only 3 subs allowed. He noted that in that instance, he might not get to play at all. All I could do at this point was smile big! Which made me think:

Circumstance + Perspective = Experience (J. Dombrow)

As I listened to Ian explain with excitement how God had answered his prayer for a win, I was humbled at my boy’s big faith and even bigger heart. He sees and understands things that I’m not sure I will ever see or understand. He knows the importance of staying true to his team by sitting the bench while others shine, choosing to cheer and encourage even when he’s not on the field, submitting to his coach’s wisdom to read the game and make decisions to play players in a way that will hopefully bring success for the team.  He sacrifices his playtime without complaint for the betterment of the team. He never ceases to surprise me with his positive attitude and his little acts of kindness and encouragement that others may not see.

In short, Ian loves. He doesn’t always do this perfectly, but on that Sunday, I’d say he came pretty close. Though he loves the game of soccer, that love does not outweigh his love for his friends and his team. And isn’t that the really big goal of life? Love God and love others? 

Clearly, God is doing a mighty work in my boy’s heart. I am so thankful for the way He has surrounded Ian with an solid community, people who build him up and challenge him to be an amazing person, both on and off the field. I do not know if he will make it to the pros one day or not, but I do know that no matter where life carries him, he will love others well. And this crazy soccer mom wouldn't trade that for all the game time in the world. 

Obviously, I'm praying God will grow me in my ability to love others. I’m thankful He has given me a precious role model to emulate, especially when it comes to the realm of youth soccer! Indeed, God’s mercies are new each day, and for that I am thankful.  

**An update: The boys played last Saturday in the semi-finals. I was at total peace throughout the whole game. It didn't matter if Ian played or not (he did), if the team won or not (they didn't). I had others praying, helping me walk the youth soccer road. Eventually, I know it will come, that peace and total joy that comes from simply watching your child be right where he's suppose to be, doing exactly what he's suppose to be doing. In fact, I think from now on, this peace will be experienced more often than not, as I lean not on my own understanding, but trust in the plans God has laid out for my boy. Obviously, He is more interested in Ian's heart, then his ability to score a goal, though I think He cares about that, too;)